With playoff hockey approaching, every game seems to increase in importance and intensity. Your son or daughter’s ability to play with confidence in the spotlight isn’t just key to individual and team success – it impacts overall enjoyment, too.

It can be easy to forget that the highly competitive athletes skating before you are still kids, and still very much learning the game and learning to compete. For many, these games are as important to them as the Stanley Cup playoffs, so any defensive lapse, shot off the post, or easy save that, somehow, slips through the five-hole can be devastating.

So, with everything seemingly on the line, how can we keep each player’s confidence up, while continuing to nurture his or her skills, emotions and love for the sport itself?

Balanced Perspective

Joel Johnson knows a thing or two about confidence. He has, after all, helped coach the Gopher women’s hockey team to three NCAA national championships in the last four years. The White Bear Lake native has also served as the head coach for back-to-back gold medal-winning U.S. National Teams at the 2015 and 2016 IIHF U18 Women’s World Championships.

“Confidence comes first from a proper and balanced outlook on life and sports,” said Johnson, associate head coach for the Gopher women. “Young players, especially, need to know that their identity and self-worth doesn't come from their athletic success, but from living a life of integrity, character and striving for excellence in all they do.

“Players who have a balanced outlook on hockey, play with more freedom and less anxiety,” he said. “That’s what confidence on the ice looks like.”

That balance, Johnson said, is formed both on and off the ice. Parents and coaches have a unique opportunity to encourage, teach and build confidence in their young athletes – no matter how good a game (or season) is going. It’s easy to support and cheer for your team’s best players, but not everyone on the ice is a future Parise. So, consistency – and honesty – are both integral.

“When players go through challenges, what they need most is the knowledge that they’re cared for and believed in, regardless of their successes or failures,” said Johnson. “Coaches need to demonstrate a genuine concern for their players early on, in order to be able to influence them when things are difficult.

“Also, coaches and parents need to be realistic and authentic with players as they encourage, and communicate positive reminders during tough times.”

Preparation Is Key

Just like in life – school presentations, job interviews, work projects, etc. – preparation is key to building confidence and finding success. Johnson offers parents and coaches a number of simple yet effective steps to help your son or daughter prepare for big games.

“Ask questions to prompt players into mentally engaging in how they want to play the game,” he said. “Visualization of specific skills, such as scoring goals and making saves, and other mental exercises are fantastic, as long as players are mature and capable of using them properly.

“However, with younger players, it can be just as effective for them to talk with linemates or teammates about specific strategies or concepts that they’ve been working on.”

And for even younger players, it’s just about letting them loose, being positive and having fun.

It’s OK to Fail

Most of all, for young players, coaches and parents alike, it’s important not to dwell on mistakes, because they happen – a lot.

“Hockey, like most sports, is full of mistakes,” Johnson said. “Most players who are afraid to make mistakes have previously encountered coaches or parents who over-emphasize mistakes and accomplishments.

“One player's highlight goal typically comes at the expense of another player's mistake,” he continued. “The best coaches find ways to teach their players about the game without highlighting great plays or not-so-great plays.”

Johnson offers coaches a few additional tips to help create confident players:

Encourage effort and attitude while teaching the sport.
Set realistic expectations. They’re the key to enjoying the game.

“A good coach knows that ‘reality is your best friend,’” Johnson said. “Whether talking about winning games or the amount of practices to schedule, it’s important to be realistic and remember that, while hockey is a great way to teach us life lessons, it’s not something that should define us as people.”

What Can I Do As a Parent?

That one’s easy – and it has nothing to do with your hockey knowledge.

“Simply show up and communicate how proud you are of your son or daughter,” Johnson said. “That alone will lead to players who aren't afraid to make mistakes.

“Hockey is a great game, especially at the youth level,” he said. “It’s a fantastic experience that helps teach you how to build great friendships, how to compete with integrity, and learn how to win and lose well – all while keeping players active and healthy.

“It's up to parents and coaches to treat the sport the right way, because our kids will learn by watching what we do.” 

Editor’s Note: It’s important to remember that some of our youngest players might not be interested in the final score at all, but more concerned about having fun with their friends, and whether or not the parents brought apple juice or not.