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Are you even listening to me?

By Jessi Pierce, Touchpoint Media, 10/04/16, 9:45AM CDT

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“Are you even listening to me?”

It’s the age-old question that parents have been asking kids since (probably) the beginning of time. Whether it’s a question about school, chores or getting along with siblings, parents often wonder if their child is even paying attention to what’s been asked or said.

Hockey coaches have the same concerns. From 8U up to 14U/16U, players are developing, learning and listening in different ways. Techniques in coaching and communicating with a Mite player are different from how they are going to look for a Peewee or Bantam.

But there are ways to get through to every player to help him or her listen and learn on the ice. Eagan boys’ varsity head coach Mike Taylor and Wayzata boys’ varsity head coach Pat O’Leary weigh in on why kids can struggle to listen – and how to get them to this season.  

Short Attention Spans

If you’ve ever watched an 8U or 10U practice, you’ve seen first hand how easily distracted youth players can be. With all of the excitement on the ice between teammates, pucks and skating, it’s understandable. Because of that excitement, listening is the last thing most players really want to do.

“They’ve been sitting in school being talked to all day by adults,” explained Taylor. “We have a philosophy: No lines, no laps, no lectures. We want to keep it moving. If you’re going to talk very long, and when I say long I mean over 30 seconds, that’s when they start to get antsy.”

No one wants to listen to a coach drone on, and most coaches don’t want to do that. Keep instructions in practice short and to the point. Give players the basics and then let them go and learn for themselves in the station or drill.

Get on Their Level – Literally

It can be hard to gain and keep a player’s attention when they spend the majority of the time looking up to you.

“I always get down on one knee and talk to them on that same level,” said O’Leary. “It helps to look at their faces and explain to them what you’re looking for. It helps keep their focus when you’re down on their level, too.”

Learning by Doing

Imitation is one of the best forms of skill learning for players of all ages. By showing a player how a drill is done, again you are limiting the amount of actual instruction time and allowing them to start the learning process quicker.

“You want to couple a really, really short explanation with a really good demonstrator,” said Taylor. “Players, especially at the younger age, learn best by example.”

Pick a second-year player or an assistant coach to help demonstrate what the next drill or station is. Again, keep the instruction short and make sure you’re clear in your words and actions. If the drill is more complicated O’Leary and Taylor suggest to run through it two or three times to make sure players know what they are doing.

Encourage Them

Everyone tends to perform better when they are told they are doing something great. Positive encouragement and re-enforcement on the ice and in the locker room really can go a long ways.

“(You have to give them) positive feedback and encouragement,” Taylor said. “You yourself have to be pumping their tires, giving them feedback. Whether they’re the best (player on the ice) or not, tell them they’re great. I think everybody at any age eats that kind of stuff up and so little kids want and need to hear it, too.”

Parents should not only be encouraging their child to be working hard each practice, but to be listening to their coaches, too. Comments like “Thank you for listening to Coach Taylor tonight” and “Good job paying attention in that skating drill” reinforce the importance of those behaviors and help kids focus on the process of improving rather than the result of certain plays.    

Remember the Fun and Free Play

Both O’Leary and Taylor begin every practice—high school and youth—the same way: with free play on the ice. Fun is the No. 1 focus for players, and rightfully so. Hockey is supposed to be fun. Have fun with them and you’re almost guaranteed to get their attention.

“I think the biggest thing is to just let them be kids,” said O’Leary. “Things change when the coaches get out there and start instructing. Everything becomes so structured. Give them the opportunity to go out there and fall down. Coaches can go and join the ice and have fun with them, but let them have the free play and teach themselves. If they can just fail on their own, they are actually probably learning more anyways.”

Taylor adds: “They should leave the rink smiling. When they get off the ice and their head is wet and they’re smiling, they had a great practice.”

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