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The Minnesota Hockey Parent Survival Guide

By Todd Smith, Special to Minnesota Hockey, 10/06/15, 10:00AM CDT

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Parents might not play a single minute during an entire hockey season but that does not mean they aren’t as emotionally and physically invested as the players on the ice. The commitment of the parents can be, at times, almost as vigorous as the players. After all, the very definition of commitment is driving a minivan loaded with kids and their hockey bags to an ice arena at  7:00 AM … on your day off.

To thrive during the hockey season, players often need to prepare both mentally and physically. They work on their nutrition, stamina and the delicate art of balancing school and sports. But hockey moms and dads need to survive the season, too, and need just as much preparation.

So, with a new hockey season approaching, Minnesota Hockey spoke with Mark Nordvall, a veteran Minnesota high school hockey coach with Level 5 USA Hockey Certification, about how parents can not only survive, but thrive, this hockey season.

Nordvall has coached in Minnesota youth and high school hockey for more than 18 years and is currently in his fourth year as assistant coach for the Buffalo girls’ high school team. He offers the following checklist for both veteran and first-time hockey parents as they begin to navigate the world of youth hockey:

Get the Right Fit

Hockey equipment must fit properly in order to protect properly. Parents naturally want to get their money’s worth, but as much as you want to buy equipment for your kids to grow into, that could cause issues, and more importantly, injury. Get equipment that fits.

“Equipment, especially skates, need to fit,” said Nordvall. “I leased my kid’s skates until they were in high school. It’s a great option.”

Carpool

Sharing a carpool with fellow families can be one of the most vital aspects of surviving a long hockey season. When team parents take turns hauling the kids to practices and games it is oftentimes a logistic necessity. But it also offers a much needed slice of reprieve for fellow parents. When it is your turn to drive, grin and bear the noise and chatter and, um, smell of the hockey bags in your car. When it is not your turn to drive, go ahead and try and enjoy the time off and lack of hockey smell.

Speaking of which …

The Smell! Oh, My!

If you are a first-time hockey parent, you will soon notice a rather distinctive and pungent smell emanating from your child’s hockey bag. Don’t be alarmed: Nothing has died in your child’s hockey bag. It’s just the official and disgusting smell of hockey.

Everyone – and we mean everyone – who has played hockey knows the smell. This is because players wear their equipment, sweat in it, and then stick it all back into their bags to ferment, only to be released at the next skate.

It may seem like the smell will never leave, but the key is to frequently air out the equipment. And wash it. And use Febreze.

Understand the Process

The process of tryouts and team selection and scheduling are different from organization to organization. Typically, that process is influenced by a variety of factors, many of which can be out of your association’s control. It is important for parents to understand the process and if they don’t agree with them to advocate through the appropriate channels.

“It’s real easy to stand on the glass and throw stones,” said Nordvall. “Instead, take real action. Go to your next board meeting, volunteer to participate in the evaluation process, and volunteer to help coach.”

Let the Coaches Coach

“There are a lot of parents that coach at the kitchen table,” said Nordvall. “A parent will tell their athlete to do one thing and the coach will be telling them to do another.”

This sort of push-pull relationship between coaches and parents can be confusing to a young athlete and put them in a difficult position. Ultimately, the constant contradictory instruction can stunt the development of a young player and suck the fun out of the game for everyone involved.

“Coaches aren’t perfect, by any means,” said Nordvall. “But they are trying their best to teach your kids the game, team play, and life skills. Let them do their job.”

Windshield Time

The period of time immediately after a practice or a game – such as the car ride home – may appear to be the perfect time to talk about the action on the ice because everything is still fresh. But during the car ride home try to avoid talking about the game and instead use the windshield time to create a low pressure and fun atmosphere.

“I’ll be the first to admit, the first couple of years my daughter played I was guilty of breaking down the game on the ride home,” said Nordvall. “I figured out that if I kept it up she would probably give it up.”

There is no fun in being grilled after every practice or game. So, take advantage of the windshield time and ask your child about other parts of their life. Go through the drive through and grab a smoothie or a snack and use that time as a pressure release. In the end, they’ll always remember the times you shared a treat and listened to some jams after a practice or a game and not your critiques on game play.

“Eventually, our rides home became some of the best conversations we’ve ever had,” said Nordvall.

Speak the Truth

A parent doesn’t need to tell their child that they are the greatest of all time. Just be positive and take the necessary time out to recognize commitment and hustle and effort. While these attributes will not automatically guarantee results, they are the foundation for building confidence.

“A confident person has a better chance of success than one that is constantly reminded what they are doing wrong,” said Nordvall.

Different Paths, One Goal

Every season, every team, and every organization is different, of course, and while we all take different paths during the season and use different ways to survive the end goal is always the same.

“It doesn’t matter if your child is destined for the Olympic team or an Old Timers League,” said Nordvall. “If they are having fun they’ll want to play next year!”

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Parents might not play a single minute during an entire hockey season but that does not mean they aren’t as emotionally and physically invested as the players on the ice. The commitment of the parents can be, at times, almost as vigorous as the players. After all, the very definition of commitment is driving a minivan loaded with kids and their hockey bags to an ice arena at  7:00 AM … on your day off.

To thrive during the hockey season, players often need to prepare both mentally and physically. They work on their nutrition, stamina and the delicate art of balancing school and sports. But hockey moms and dads need to survive the season, too, and need just as much preparation.

So, with a new hockey season approaching, Minnesota Hockey spoke with Mark Nordvall, a veteran Minnesota high school hockey coach with Level 5 USA Hockey Certification, about how parents can not only survive, but thrive, this hockey season.

Nordvall has coached in Minnesota youth and high school hockey for more than 18 years and is currently in his fourth year as assistant coach for the Buffalo girls’ high school team. He offers the following checklist for both veteran and first-time hockey parents as they begin to navigate the world of youth hockey:

Get the Right Fit

Hockey equipment must fit properly in order to protect properly. Parents naturally want to get their money’s worth, but as much as you want to buy equipment for your kids to grow into, that could cause issues, and more importantly, injury. Get equipment that fits.

“Equipment, especially skates, need to fit,” said Nordvall. “I leased my kid’s skates until they were in high school. It’s a great option.”

Carpool

Sharing a carpool with fellow families can be one of the most vital aspects of surviving a long hockey season. When team parents take turns hauling the kids to practices and games it is oftentimes a logistic necessity. But it also offers a much needed slice of reprieve for fellow parents. When it is your turn to drive, grin and bear the noise and chatter and, um, smell of the hockey bags in your car. When it is not your turn to drive, go ahead and try and enjoy the time off and lack of hockey smell.

Speaking of which …

The Smell! Oh, My!

If you are a first-time hockey parent, you will soon notice a rather distinctive and pungent smell emanating from your child’s hockey bag. Don’t be alarmed: Nothing has died in your child’s hockey bag. It’s just the official and disgusting smell of hockey.

Everyone – and we mean everyone – who has played hockey knows the smell. This is because players wear their equipment, sweat in it, and then stick it all back into their bags to ferment, only to be released at the next skate.

It may seem like the smell will never leave, but the key is to frequently air out the equipment. And wash it. And use Febreze.

Understand the Process

The process of tryouts and team selection and scheduling are different from organization to organization. Typically, that process is influenced by a variety of factors, many of which can be out of your association’s control. It is important for parents to understand the process and if they don’t agree with them to advocate through the appropriate channels.

“It’s real easy to stand on the glass and throw stones,” said Nordvall. “Instead, take real action. Go to your next board meeting, volunteer to participate in the evaluation process, and volunteer to help coach.”

Let the Coaches Coach

“There are a lot of parents that coach at the kitchen table,” said Nordvall. “A parent will tell their athlete to do one thing and the coach will be telling them to do another.”

This sort of push-pull relationship between coaches and parents can be confusing to a young athlete and put them in a difficult position. Ultimately, the constant contradictory instruction can stunt the development of a young player and suck the fun out of the game for everyone involved.

“Coaches aren’t perfect, by any means,” said Nordvall. “But they are trying their best to teach your kids the game, team play, and life skills. Let them do their job.”

Windshield Time

The period of time immediately after a practice or a game – such as the car ride home – may appear to be the perfect time to talk about the action on the ice because everything is still fresh. But during the car ride home try to avoid talking about the game and instead use the windshield time to create a low pressure and fun atmosphere.

“I’ll be the first to admit, the first couple of years my daughter played I was guilty of breaking down the game on the ride home,” said Nordvall. “I figured out that if I kept it up she would probably give it up.”

There is no fun in being grilled after every practice or game. So, take advantage of the windshield time and ask your child about other parts of their life. Go through the drive through and grab a smoothie or a snack and use that time as a pressure release. In the end, they’ll always remember the times you shared a treat and listened to some jams after a practice or a game and not your critiques on game play.

“Eventually, our rides home became some of the best conversations we’ve ever had,” said Nordvall.

Speak the Truth

A parent doesn’t need to tell their child that they are the greatest of all time. Just be positive and take the necessary time out to recognize commitment and hustle and effort. While these attributes will not automatically guarantee results, they are the foundation for building confidence.

“A confident person has a better chance of success than one that is constantly reminded what they are doing wrong,” said Nordvall.

Different Paths, One Goal

Every season, every team, and every organization is different, of course, and while we all take different paths during the season and use different ways to survive the end goal is always the same.

“It doesn’t matter if your child is destined for the Olympic team or an Old Timers League,” said Nordvall. “If they are having fun they’ll want to play next year!”

Most Popular